I'll be missing my Myfie terribly. :'(

They say, iiyakan mo yung tao kasi mahal mo. And that's how I love my Myfie. She's leaving for MASICAP scholarship on Sunday (July 24,2011). At mamimiss ng lahat tong matabang babaeng to! :'(

We were watching Beastly in my place and may tumawag sa kanya. Russelle called her (our batchmate na nauna nang naging MASICAP scholar) and telling her that she has to prepare and be ready kasi aalis na sya after two days. I was listening to her answers at pagkarinig ko na "Talaga?! Si Jeric (batchmate rin namin na naunang nalaman na he got the scholarship) lang diba ang nakuha Maam?!", I started crying already. I figured it out that my very best friend is leaving already. I made a text brigade to our friends telling na Mae is leaving by Sunday and we have to have our session at Leit's place. We will have an urgent despedida party for her tonight.

God, nalulungkot talaga ako ng sobra. As in sobra sobra! I know Myf will be back naman, but that's on December and on the Graduation day pa! Ang dami nyang mamimiss na mga moments and ganun ka tagal ko syang hindi makakausap. Ngayon pa lang namimiss ko na sya.

Later on our session mag eemote kami for sure. But ngayon pa lang let me write the things that I might tell Mae para naman pwede nya ring i-visit to when she misses everybody.

"Myyyyyf! You know that we'll miss you and for sure you'll miss us too. Lalo na ako. hahaha! Myf ba, nalulungkot na talaga ako. Myf, hindi na tayo magshashare sa mga blogpost ni Inang Becky Divine Lee. Matagal-tagal ulit bago tayo mag tawanan. Myf, wala na akong pwedeng itext agad kapag gusto ko mag tambay sa Caltex. Wala na akong ka chika pag may nakita akong good looking along the road. Myf hindi ko na ma-share sayo agad-agad ang mga heartaches ko, lalo na pag miss ko "sya". Myf ba, hindi mo na matikman ang lahat ng flavors ng Tipco mixed fruit juice. :( Myf hindi pa tayo nakanood together ng 500 days of Summer. Hala oiii. myf ba. Kainis. Pag mag party-party wala nang mag bantay sa mga bags namin na naiwan sa table kasi wala ka na. hahaha. Myf pag may iPad na ako wala ka para ma try natin dalawa. Pag mag session kami ulit ng gang wala ka na. At myf! Si Jayson pano na? Hahaha! Myf wala na akong kasama mag walkathon kahit saan. :'( Mabawasan na ang mag appreciate ng mga bagong outfits ko lalo na pag galing ng ukay-ukay. Myf kung pwede lang talaga na hanggang Saturday night magkatabi tayong matulog ba. Wala ana ri nakong emoterang friend sa mga pictures. hahaha! Wala na akong mahahawakang arms na fluffy pag naglalakad. haaii. Myf wala ka sa tabi ko pag may mga bonggang moments ako sa buhay ko. Wala nang magiintroduce ng mga new songs saken. Basta Myf I'll MISS YOU SOOO BIG!! Ayaw pag fineeling sa kung saang lupalop ka man ng Mindanao maasign ha? Kayod ug tarong te! Basta the whole gang will miss you s much! Have fun with your stay sa kung saan ka man mapadpad myf! Mwah! I LOVE YOU MYF! :) <3"

Basically yun pa lang naman ang maari kong masabi sa aking mahal na best friend.

Basta mamimiis ko talaga itong matabang best friend ko na to! Hahaha!

And for the very first time I'll be posting a bunch of photos here na magkasama tayo Myf! :)

Myfie and Me during the Black and White party of JPIA. :)

During the Summerfest 2011 at London Beach Resort.

I can remember this time nagchichismisan kami tungkol sa aking past lovelife kasi may problema nun eh.

Kabog ang lahat ng weight-lifters sa kapangyarihan ng aking Myfie! Hahaha!

Myf! Look at this photo! I'm wearing the ring! Hahaha! Wala lang. Alam mo na yun. :)

Gusto ko lang ipost myf.hehehe.

There you go. :) Malunod kayo sa photos namin.hahaha!

Siguro kung tayo parin...

Nasubukan ko na matanong ang sarili ko these past few days kung okay na ba ako at nasagot ko naman ng maayos sarili ko. Hmm.. Okay naman ako, pero... Basta. Aabot ako sa panahong magiging TALAGANG okay na ako. :)

Pero matapos ko namang mapanood ang One More Chance sa pangalawang pagkakataon eh naging hudyat ito sa aking pag-eemo. Napaisip ako na siguro kung tayo parin ngayon ang dami nang nangyari sa atin. Maganda man o pangit...

Unahin na natin yung mga posibleng magagandang mangyayari satin.

Siguro kung tayo pa...

*Malapit na tayong mag isang taon sa September.

*Sa buwang yun eh magi-greet kita ng maayos at may purong pagmamahal pa. :)

*May "Good Morning!" at "I love you EVERYDAY!" parin akong mababasa everyday sa aking pag gising.

*Sabay tayong manonood ng Harry Potter at iba pang mga movies sa malls.

*Sabay parin tayong umuwi kahit ibang direksyon ang inuuwian natin. Basta nakauwi tayo ng maayos ng sabay.

*I still have the chance of hugging and kissing you as much as I want.

*Siguro kasama kita sa Koronadal sa pagpapanood ng pageant at ng pinapangarap kong fashion show.

*Magigising parin ako na katabi ka.

*Yung mga gusto kong kanta eh may mapagshasharean ako.

*Malamang eh good shot ka pa sa mga kaibigan ko. :)

*Hindi kita naiiwasan sa school.

*Nung nagkasakit ako isa ka sa mga mag-aalaga saken.

*Naamoy ko parin siguro ang pabango mo lage.

*Marami pa siguro akong nagawang surprise gifts sa iyo na for sure ikakatuwa mo. :)

*SIGURO MASAYA PARIN TAYO NGAYON.

*Nagseselos parin ako kasi kung sinu-sino lang ina-add mo sa facebook.

*Hindi ko mapapanood tong One More Chance ng naiiyak kasi hindi ko mafi-feel ang heartbreaking lines nila.hehehe

*At! Hindi ko mamahalin si Adele dahil sa kanyang mga heartbreaking songs.

*Hindi babalik ang jaw line ko sa sobrang pnayat ko at pag gygym. hehehe.

*Hindi ako marahil mamahalin ng ganito ng mga kaibigan ko dahil sa nangyari.

*Bawat araw na lumilipas eh hindi ako maghihintay na may magtetext saken kasi alam ko magtetext ka.

*Siguro kapag umiiyak ka kasi inaway ka ng kapatid at ng mga tao sa bahay nyo eh napagsusumbungan mo parin ako.

*Siguro hindi mo nasabi dati na "Kinasusuklaman mo ako."

*Malamang may nagbibigay pa ng chicken sa akin kapag malungkot ako.

*Malamang sa malamang eh mag-aaway parin tayo sa mga bagay na hindi na dapat napag-aawayan at pinapalaki pa.

*Hindi rin siguro ako mag gogrow ng ganito kapag tayo parin. Hindi ko marerealize na yung "FOREVER" eh talagang mangyayari yun sa tamang taong para sa akin.

*May mapagshasharean ako ng mga nangyayari saken sa araw-araw kahit sa mga pinakamababaw pang nangyari saken.

*May mapagsusumbungan ako kapag may nang-inis ulit saken.

*Siguro tuloy parin yung mga pangarap natin together.

AT MARAMI PANG IBA!

Siguro nga kaya ko naiisip tong mga bagay na to kasi miss kita. Pero hanggang dun nalang yun ulit. hehehe. Wala tayong magagawa dun, salamat dito sa blog kong ito at may outlet ako. Di bale na.

"Kung ano man ang mga nangyari sa atin ngayon eh dapat siguro talagang mangyari to. Hindi ko pa man alam sa ngayon kung bakit pero darating ang araw na magkakaron ako nga sagot sa mga tanong. Sabi nga sa movie na One More Chance eh "People broke up for them to grow". Siguro nga ganun, na kahit alam ko na matatag na ako at maraming napagdaanan eh may mga dapat pa akong pagdaanan para MAS maging matatag ako. Para na rin siguro sayo na maramdaman mo ang feeling na ganyan, kung ano man ang nararamdaman mo ngayon eh may rason yan talaga. Hindi ko man alam ano yung nararamdaman mo ngayon pero may rason."

Marami pang mangyayari sa susunod. Gagraduate na ako, maghahanap na ako ng trabaho. Bagong buhay siguro.

Ikaw, pag-iigihan mo ang pag-aral. Wag pasaway sa parents at sa mga kaibigan. You keep them becuase they're keeping you too. Ayokong maging bitter sa mga nangyayaring maganda sayo, kasi ako mag hihintay ako ng turns ko. Kung masaya ka man ngayon, you save it. Kasi remember? "Mas masarap pa sa chicken at sa hopia ang happiness."

Basta, I'll wait for my turn na maging happy GENUINELY. Panapanahon nga lang daw. hehehe.

Goodnight! :)

Ngiti nalang tayo :)

Matagal-tagal na rin akong hindi nakapag sulat ng blog ano? Naisipan ko lang bisitahin ang blog kong to kasi may gusto lang akong basahin ulit pero it turned out na nawili ako sa kakabasa ng mga previous blogs (to be specific, mga EMO blogs ko.) and I can't believe that I was that honest before.

Andame ko na palang pinagdaanan ano? From last year's break ups up to the recent. Eh yun lang naman ata talaga ang topics ng blogs ko everytime diba? Hehehe. Funny. Kung hindi heartbreak eh mga boring naman na mga bagay.

Actually, I have nothing to blog now aside from my emotions. Kung ano ako kalungkot, kung papaano ako nakakahanap ng kasiyahan.

Wala namang masyadong bago sa mga nangyari talaga saken basing from last year's. Kasi ngayon ang mababasa nyo nanaman dito eh yung story ng heartbreaks ko. At wala kayong choice kundi basahin to. I'll tell you after reading this you'll realize something kasi ako, marami.

Simulan na natin sa yung namimis mo yung taong yun. Masakit diba? Miss mo, hindi mo naman masabi. Kung sasabihin mo naman either wala kang marereceive na reply o magrereply nga pero for sure hindi "I miss you too.", which will hurt you lang. Ang masaklap pa dito eh nasa iisang lugar lang kayo, nakikita mo sya from afar, hindi mo man sadyain eh talagang panahon na ang naghahanap ng paraan. Umaabot pa nga sa time na talagang iisang daan lang ang nilalakad nyo. Na magkaharapan na kayo pero parang wala ka lang kasabay sa pag lakad. Ni Ha ni Ho, wala. At isa yun sa pinaka masakit. Ang sabi nga ng Mamu Orman ko, "Nangyayari yan para masanay ka lang." which is tama nga naman. Sa taong emotionally struggling ang interpretation nun eh nang-iinis ang tadhana. IN TIME MASASANAY LANG TAYO.

Sunod, gagawa ka parin ng paraan para lang makita sya. Kagaya ng sa One More Chance na movie. Aminin nyo, napaiyak kayo ni Basha at ni Popoi diba? Kasi ako, kulang nalang i-tattoo saken ang mga dialogue nila. Ako kasi, nagawa ko nang i-close ang Nanay at Tatay, mga Kapatid, Best friend ng kapatid, Syota ng mga kapatid, best friends nya from high school to college, Pinsan nya, mga kapitbahay at kahit kasambahay nila. Hindi sa para makita at malaman ko ang mga galaw nya para mapagtanungan ko sila, gusto ko lang i treasure yung relationship namin kasi hindi rin naman kasi basta-basta ang lahat. Isa sa pinaka lesson na natutunan ko eh, "The things that you don't know will only hurt you." and "Never set conditions, because by the time they were not reached all you can do is to get hurt.". Kasi naman hinding hindi mo maiiwasan na makarinig from those people na ganito, na ganyan, na "alam mo ba...", na "hala..." at marami pang iba na iisa lang ang nagiging resulta, "ISANG BALDENG HURT". Dahil sa rason na gusto mo syang makita, nagiging desperado ka na. Nung huli nga, pumunta ako sa bahay nila kasi inimbita ako ng kapatid nya sa birthday. SO ayun pag dating ko sa bahay nila, ilangan, di nagsasalita PERO nakatingin palagi sa kanya. Pero anong magagawa ko? Eh sa wala talaga eh. AS IN WALANG WALA.

Ito ang pinaka masakit sa lahat at hanggang ngayon wala pa akong nahahanap na sagot, mapa Google man, Yahoo o kung saang diskyonaryo pa man. Dati, sya yung nagsasabi na "Wag mo akong iwan kahit anong mangyari." Sabay iyak pa yan ha. Kasi nga takot na takot syang iwan mo sya. Pero umaabot talaga sa time na sya rin ang magsasabing "Let me go! Please! Wala na tayo!". And this time, iiyak sya hindi dahil sa takot, DAHIL NA SA INIS. Inis na gusto na nyang mawala ka. Gusto na nyang iwan ka. See, the irony of life "Two TOTALLY different sentiments coming from one person." Kung sino yung nagsabi na wag syang iwan eh sya rin ang magsasabing lumayo ka na at hayaan na syang mag-isa. Tinanong ko na to sa mga kaibigan ko at tanging si Myfie lang ang nakasagot ng "medyo" nakontento naman ako. "Things change myf. Even HEARTS." At dun tayo walang magagawa pag ang puso na ang nagiba. Kung pwede lang magpainstall ng virus na makakapagchange sa setting ng puso ng isang tao eh nagawa ko na siguro. Pero ganun talaga.

At alam nyo ba kung ano mga pinaka masakit na nasabi saken ng taong mahal or should I say PINAKAmamahal ko? Una, kasi nung huli eh talagang hinabol ko ulit sya sa high way kasi naglakad sya palayo. Nagawa ko na dati yun eh, pero nung gabing yun iba na ang reaction nya. Wala na syang pakialam kahit mula Apari hanggang Jolo pa ang lakarin ko. It turned out that my desperation resulted to something na ikasasama lang ng loob ko. Nag away lang kami, the friendship was over (I guess) and sinabi nya saken "Tandaan mo ang ginawa mo kagabi Len. KINASUSUKLAMAN KITA!!!!!!" Masakit talaga, na kung sino pa yung taong nagmamahal sa kanya ng sobra eh sya pa tong kinsauklaman nya. Haaii. Pero ganun talaga, wala tayong magagawa. Siguro tama na i-hate nya ako para na rin matulungan ko ang sarili ko maka move on. Pangalawa, hindi ko magets na ako pa ang nagmukhang may kasalanan kasi saken pa sya galit. Kasi ang mga kaibigan ko ang sama ng tingin sa kanya, pag nagkakasalubong sila irap at mga angas lang nila ang nakikita at nariring nya. EH HINDI KO KONTROLADO ANG MGA ISIPAN NILA. Kung alam nya lang na kung gaano ko sya pinagtatanggol kahit ako ang naargabyado nya. Alam ng lahat yun na wala akong intensyong siraan sya. Bakit ko gagawin yun? Eh alam ko naman na wala akong mapapala. Haaai buhay. Naging totoo lang naman ako all through out ah?

Ang buhay talagang unfair and the only way life is being fair is to be unfair to everyone.

Sa ngayon ang estado ng buhay ko eh sakto lang. Marami man akong nalalaman at nakikita o naririnig tungkol sa kanya (na ikinasasakit ng loob ko) eh sabi nga nila "Hindi pa natatapos dyan. Marami pang mangyayari. Ang gagawin mo nalang eh maging matatag para hindi ka matalo." Kaya kahit 50% malungot at 50% masaya ako ngayon eh hinahayaan ko nalang. Mahirap pero ano pa bang magagawa ko. Ang gusto ko lang sabihin ngayon eh MAHAL KO ANG MGA TAONG MAHAL AKO. MARAMING SALAMAT SA EFFORT NA MAPATAWA AKO, SA APPRECIATION. Maraming salamat kasi hindi kayo nang-iwan. Wag kayong mag alala pag ako na ang kailangan nyo, walang hiya na talaga ako pag ako pa ang hindi tumulong sa inyo. At sa nagbibigay ng kasiyahan sa akin ngayon eh SALAMAT. Ngiti nalang palagi. :)

K.K <3

CRAP for that 2012!

Everybody seemed to be alarmed of what has just happened lately in Japan including me. Yes, actually it is. With that 8.9 magnitude of earthquake and a monsterous tsunami that resulted on massive destruction. Scary isn't it?

After I watched breaking news on the television and live streaming and videos over the net. I was really shocked, feared, scared and felt sad for the Japanese people. People all over the world watched how parts of Japan was submerged with water and people die. I can feel the fear of everyone actually. Who never does?

I remembered the story of my relative's husband during the wake of my Lolo. He told us the story about the Prodigal Son. And after, he concluded that a person can be the "younger brother" or the "older brother". The younger brother as we are all familiar had his share from his father's and exhausted all of it. The older brother waited for a long time for his share and worked hard for his father and never left him just like what his brother did. My aunt's husband told us that we have to think if we are the "younger or the older brother". The younger brother who came back and ask for forgiveness or the older brother who never left his father for his share and disappointed upon the coming back of his brother. Well maybe this time I AM AN OLDER BROTHER. I'm feeling sorry for them, I couldn't help them. Just prayers.

But that's not the main point of my blog this time. As I've said after watching videos and news about the tragedy there were following issues spread. There was this issue about the radiation leak from the explosion of nuclear plant in Japan. Next is that there are this videos of dolphins unmerciful killed by Japanese and the disaster was their form of karma. MOST SPECIALLY the videos of the so-called END.

The end of the world has a date. Yes it was already dated. It will be on December 21, 2012. Strange? Yes, "they" already had a concrete date of the end. I have received texts that the end is near because of what has happened in Japan. It served as a sign. They said it was predicted by these people who can have visions of the future. I have to ask, "WOULD I BELIEVE?"

I am really worried actually. I have questions inside my mind. I watched documentaries regarding the "end". It gave me goosebumps when I concentrated on how the Mayan people computed the total years of living of the earth. Some Chinese predictors supported the Mayan's computations and lots of predictions. They gave the same date. They have pretty impressive explanations of everything that could make you feel anxious about the world. They say that there will be a planet that will crash and collide with the Earth, its the planet Nibiru. It is a large fire-ball-like planet of a smaller size than ours. Still as I watched the video, I was scared. Scared of what might happen next.

But behind everything, the disasters, wars , predictions I asked my self. "Seems like everybody knows when the day would end already because they have predicted with supporting facts and happenings. I have concluded that the movie 2012 might be true. People on the top and rich has the choice of saving their lives. While less fortunate people will suffer and die when the time comes. Do you think God would want the "evil" and "selfish" people would conquer the Earth on the next life? I don't think so."

Soul 3-tone Gray (Party Eyez Brand)

My newest pair of lenses is called Soul 3-tone Gray of Party Eyez Brand. I am so lucky to have the last pair of this lenses from Japanese Candy Online shop by the time I ordered this from them. :)

I am so in loved with the colors of the lenses on the pictures while it wasn't put on yet. It has a very nice mixture of 3-tone colors. The gray looks so strong, just enough for the look that I prepared for our party. :)

So the following will be my over -all rating for the lenses.

Color/Design: 10/10

It's color fits my wardrobe during our club party. It's strong intensity effect gave my eyes brighter specially when the flashes strikes during pictorials. :)

The color has basically 3-tones of gray. What I like about the color of this 3-tone gray is that its gray color is more of a white-ish effect like Megan Fox and Katy Perry (well, most when a fair toned will use them).

Enlargement: 0/10

Since it is not a Doll Eye contact lens, there will be no enlargement of pupils. It only fits you pupils well (I think it's 14.00 in diameter).

Comfort: 5/10

I have problems with these lenses everytime I wear them. Especially the other pair, it hurts a lot everytime I it on! :( *sniff sniff

But after a couple of minutes the pain fades away. But after an hour, just like my problem on my other Party Eyez Brand lenses it dries up fast.

Vendor: 10/10

Since this came along with my Jewel Blue, I'll have the same review and rating for the vendor. :)

And here's my pictures (without flash and day light pictures of the lenses will follow.):

With flash

Wearing the lenses during our club party. :)

Jewel Blue (Party Eyez Brand)

This lenses came together with my Soul 3-tone Gray and of the same brand. So I have 2 new lenses as of now! :D

I had a pair of blue lenses before from Freshlook and as compared to this pair, I prefer this one for some reasons.

Color/Design: 10/10

Maybe it's just that blue contact lenses looks good on me. Hahaha! Jewel Blue looked so bright and vibrant to look at. On the day that I wore the lenses my classmates and friends can't help to appreciate my eyes (hindi naman sa pagmamalaki. ^_^). The lenses has this small bristle-like designs as the ring instead of the normal plain black ring. These lenses will surely look better on fair skin. But for me it blends well with my eyes and my skin tone.

Enlargement: 8/10

It doesn't really make your eyes doll-like but somehow it enhances the normal size of your pupils.

Comfort: 9/10

So far this has been my most comfortable lenses! ^_^

it doesn't move when I look from left to right and up to down. It sticks just well. My only problem is it dries up faster than other brands.

Vendor: 10/10

Japanese Candy Online made it up to me this time. I thanks them for making considerations for my late payments and still managed to deliver my orders on time. Thanks! :)

Here's a sample picture of Jewel Blue when worn with flash:

Dying inside.

I am. Shattered. In pain. Sad.

It's actually the first of February. I anticipated that this date will be significant... But I was wrong. It WAS before... :'(

All I can afford to say is I'M SORRY. But yes, everything's not fine yet. I understand. And I don't know until when things will fall into their rightful places. I'm afraid of tomorrow. To fail. To be with my own again. Just like the way I started.

I miss the hugs. Caressing you. The smiles and laughs. Your lazy room. Seeing you from a nearby stair wearing the same scent. The silly talks... Badly missing them. :'(

Yes I'm crying. A lot. Crying myself to sleep. A talk with Mom, telling her how much it hurts. She's a good comforter ever since. I just love and missed her soooooo much now.

Time might heal everything... I'm hoping that everything ends happily. Things will turn into a "happily-ever-after-fairytale-story".

The only thing I can do for now is maybe to cry. Feel the pain. Console myself. For maybe by the time I woke up...I can show you the smile that I was longing for. The time that you are by my side again, telling me how much you missed me, AND THAT YOU STILL LOVE ME.

:'(