I am. Shattered. In pain. Sad.
It's actually the first of February. I anticipated that this date will be significant... But I was wrong. It WAS before... :'(
All I can afford to say is I'M SORRY. But yes, everything's not fine yet. I understand. And I don't know until when things will fall into their rightful places. I'm afraid of tomorrow. To fail. To be with my own again. Just like the way I started.
I miss the hugs. Caressing you. The smiles and laughs. Your lazy room. Seeing you from a nearby stair wearing the same scent. The silly talks... Badly missing them. :'(
Yes I'm crying. A lot. Crying myself to sleep. A talk with Mom, telling her how much it hurts. She's a good comforter ever since. I just love and missed her soooooo much now.
Time might heal everything... I'm hoping that everything ends happily. Things will turn into a "happily-ever-after-fairytale-story".
The only thing I can do for now is maybe to cry. Feel the pain. Console myself. For maybe by the time I woke up...I can show you the smile that I was longing for. The time that you are by my side again, telling me how much you missed me, AND THAT YOU STILL LOVE ME.
:'(
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